There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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