Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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