Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
