I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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