Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
