I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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