Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
