So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
