just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
false alarm, still single
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