Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
