my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize