Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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