She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
