People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Randomize