I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
