yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Randomize
