who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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