Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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