eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I don't think brook has ever known best
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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