Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
