i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
