Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
