living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
The dick lei will go down in squad history
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize