butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
