I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
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Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
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He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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