This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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