Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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