none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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