Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
