I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
