Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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