Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
sarcasm needs its own font
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
