Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
