Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
