We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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