there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
