my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
