currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
