wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I skipped work to stalk him.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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