My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
