how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize
