i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
