i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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