i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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