I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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