I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
