who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
