I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize