just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize