My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize