my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
