yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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