You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
