I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
