it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I wish you could order shots online.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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