My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize