she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
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Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
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I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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