Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
