Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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