this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
