member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
